Who saw it coming? Election e-liquid! Well it appears very few given the general surprise amongst pundits, financial markets and indeed MPs, when the General Election was called for the 12th of December.
It gives MPs and party aficionados very little time to organise campaigns and manifestos, but enough time for Totally Wicked to get into gear and design and produce our 2019 Totally Elected range of e-liquid.
We have been here before in 2015 and 2017, with each range more successful than the last. So let’s take a look at these ranges of e-liquid and how you can cast your vote.
2015 Election E-liquid Range
You may remember that back in 2015, in true Totally Wicked form, we introduced our first election e-liquid range to have some fun during the 2015 campaign. Needless to say, these topical fluids caused a bit of a stir, featuring in amongst other media the Daily Mail’s ‘The most bizarre election merchandise revealed’ article and enticing vaping bloggers all over the country to have their say on this unique set of liquids.
The principle was to offer an e-liquid flavour that represented the major political leaders. Every customers’ purchase of the respective flavours ‘cast’ a vote in the Totally Wicked election. The fluid with the greatest number of sales (votes) on election day was ‘elected’ to our Red Label range.
Remarkably, just 2 years later none of the political leaders were in the frame in 2017. But in 2015 David Cameron, Ed Miliband, Nick Clegg, Nigel Farage and Natalie Bennett all jostled for the prestigious position of Prime Minister. Whilst unwittingly they also were engaged a in a parallel contest fought for a highly sought-after place in our premium Red Label e-liquid range.
Aptly named flavours accompanied by impressive artwork – handcrafted by our in house artist, Mitch Crockett, made up our 2015 election range.
In the same manner as the general election’s pollsters’ projections, each of these e-liquid flavours was tracked rigorously across the campaign. However, unlike the pollsters’ forecast, our election resulted in David Cameron’s Eton Mess flavour topping the polls within 1% of the actual General Election result – REMARKABLE!
Cameron’s residency at 10 Downing Street may have since been superseded but at least his flavour is still sitting pretty in our Red Label Range. Red Label Eton Mess is one of our most popular liquids. So whether you’re a fan of the former Prime Minister or not, at least he’s done us all a flavour.
Totally Election E-liquid 2017
As we all loved the 2015 Totally Wicked election range so much, we couldn’t resist launching another satirical set of juices in synchronisation with Theresa May’s snap election of 2017.
Amongst the madness of TRPR preparation, we rallied the troops and clutched in to top gear, formulating the following 5 liquids to represent the key candidates gunning for the top spot in the 2017 general election. We missed the mark in terms of predicting the election this time, but the delightful Strawberry Jam still sits proud in the Red Label range of e-liquid.
‘Momentum’ implies building and creating impetus! Who needs to be reminded of a political oxymoron in the middle of an election campaign? So we thought we would cheer things up with a bit of simple early summer indulgence, a flavour that both the privileged and plebs can enjoy, a true leveller of Britain’s ‘divided society’, Strawberry Jam! We know JC loves making his own from his suburban allotment. Sweet, ripe strawberries, red fruit, crushed to perfection.
For now, it is Paul in charge. Hail the new Caesar, swathed resplendently in his purple robes of office, the journey beyond Brexit begins. The spectre of ‘Nige’ the ghost UKIP past hangs heavy in the air, but unfazed, we press on. Not to everyone’s taste, coconut is marmite of the nut world. We have decided to show the king of all nuts some much deserved love and create a flavour swathed in this polarising mega nut. Coconut Macaroon, in an e-liquid? You bet and you will learn to love it!
It’s all about ‘May’s Mandate’. Brave call this by the PM, trusting the British people are not election fatigued, ‘Tessa’ thought it a good idea, if Brexit noise was not enough, to call her snap election. Brave calls need a healthy mind and body, and ‘Tessa’ is known for her refusal of bacon and eggs for a healthier alternative. This blueberry and raspberry yoghurt is her staple go to brunch, and no sharing with Jean Claude Plonker!
No cheap laughs here, politics is a serious business and we will not descend into low bar stereotypes. What we need is a ‘Crackerjack’ cocktail to truly represent the pride and fortitude of the leader of the free Scots. The drink of Schoolboys everywhere, who would have thought rusty rhetoric would taste so damned nice? So ‘Fan’ your ‘Dab’ and ‘Bid’ your ‘Ozi’ to the queen of Scots.
The only way is up for Timothy. With an ambition to grow his cohort of Liberal representatives from netball team to at least Rugger first XV, the fightback begins now! Timmy is a man of Lancastrian hills, a Cumbrian by adoption, and a man who needs fortitude and resilience to overcome the odds for his party’s ‘long march’ back to power. So we thought we would help. With a mountain to climb, we have slipped into his pocket the classic pep me up for every mountaineer, a nice big reassuring lump of Kendal Mint Cake – yummy.
Totally Elected 2019 – It’s back!
Here we are again, the third general election in four years! How could we not launch the Totally Elected 2019 e-liquid? Once again five candidates, once again five delectable flavours to represent them. This time the winner won’t be gracing the Red Label range of e-liquid, but let’s see if we can predict the actual outcome of the election.
Bojo’s Brexit Crunch – Blueberry Muffin E-liquid
Boris is more than a hairdo, he is our unelected Prime Minister! But each morning he wakes with the chill of only minority love. With a mandate (and a majority) at stake, he has been recently jumping out of bed each day, reinvigorated by what he may become.
Sitting at his breakfast table beneath his portrait of Churchill, he eager consumes his staple Blueberry Muffin for his daily Brexit, before he finishes his coffee and crunches to the campaign bus.
Corbyn’s Objections – Strawberry & Vanilla Ice Cream E-liquid
Jezza may be a bit too left for some, but he is ‘right on’ when it comes to his passion for his allotment and his summer harvest of lovely juicy red strawberries. He knows every university student can be easily persuaded with free jam and tuition fees.
Whilst he may not know what a policy is, there will be no objections to a glorious jam topped tub of Jezza’s strawberries and ice cream.
Sturgeon’s Girders – Iron Brew E-liquid
Stop it with these stereotypes, there are other drinks available north of the border! Whilst she might not be to everyone’s taste and indeed, only accessible to our British compatriots north of the border, we will be forever united by our collective love of fizzy pop!
Who would have thought that Iron Girders could taste so good?
Farage’s Clean Break – Cool Menthol E-liquid
No messing about with Nigel, giving it us clean and clear, it is Brexit and nothing else. The only leader not contesting an electoral seat, Nige should have labelled his campaign ‘influence without responsibility’, cool if you can carry it off!
So, to mark this self-assurance we have designed one very cool and clean menthol for you.
Swinson’s Revoke – Lemonade Fruit Fizz
Mirror mirror on the wall does a referendum mean nothing at all? Well, so it appears to you Jo! Who needs democracy anyway? If the Romans only played at it then why should Ms Swinson and her merry band of Article 50 revokers care about the thoughts of the plebs.
With this discordancy in mind, we have created for Jo an absolute, yet very yummy, train wreck of a flavour.
Vote with your vape as we will once again be tracking which of these fluids are your favourites. Keep an eye on our social media channels where we will update you daily. Who is getting your vote in our alternative election?