A Totally Wicked Christmas

A little Christmas fun from Totally Wicked.

Watch what happens when Mr Wicked meets Scrooge.

Read our Totally Wicked twist on ‘Twas the night before Christmas’. (Transcript found at the bottom of the page)

Christmas poem


A Totally Wicked christmas poem – transcript

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the den

Not a creature was vaping, not even me mam.

The stockings were hung by the sky box in pairs,

In hopes that vape goodies soon would be there.


The moon shone down on the backyard patio

Giving a lustre to the blanket of vapour below.

When, what to my hopeful eyes should appear,

But a Wicked van, and eight bulging vape parcels right here.


With a large red driver, so muscly and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St Wick (ed).

More rapid than sub-ohm his parcels they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!


“Now Diavlo! Now, V5! Now, Patriot and Odyssey!

On, Corsa! On, Cubis! On Tornado and INTU!

To the top of the e-cig! Filled full of menthol!

Now vape away! Vape away! Vape away all!”


He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,

And his e-cig all decked out with variable output.

A bundle of vape mail he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a vendor, just opening his shop.


His eyes-how they twinkled! His horns, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry (e-liquid)!

His grinning mouth was drawn up like an O,

And the vape beard sat on his chin was as white as the snow.


The stump of a V-pipe held tight in his teeth,

And the vapour encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a rock hard belly,

That rippled when he laughed, the opposite of a bowlful of jelly!


He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

Filling the stockings with vape gear, then turned with a jerk.

Laying his AIO gently aside of his nose,

With a swift vape, up the chimney he rose!


He sprang to his van, to his team gave a shout,

And away they all drove, for their Xmas pint of stout.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, here’s to vaping all night!”